3-Day Contract
Well, let me just come clean before any more judgements pound me lower and lower into the solid impoverish floor that slowly squeeze every integrity left and strangle the coughs out of my already weary broken heart.
It was just a contract. We were talking one day about how is it like being a couple now that all of our friends have found their match. No, we weren’t pressured by them. We were just curious. She was eager to try and I was willing to give a shot. So we took out a piece of paper, wrote a couple of clauses, signed it and put it into a Spritzer bottle, which we hid it within the hollows of a tree. The contract was for three days and with no emotional strings attached after the contract is due.
No time to waste. We held hands and the first thing she said to me was, “Let’s go shopping!” in an instant, I felt the sense of regret creeping all over my wallet and into my heart. Shit, I should’ve known this will happen; luckily I brought about RM50 but that is almost about the balance of my allowance this month. That would mean at least a lunch and dinner for two, transportation to and back our homes to the mall and maybe a blouse or a T-shirt.
“Let’s skip lunch and go straight to shopping! Woo!!!”
Well, that cuts the expenses a little bit but it also burnt away my stomach walls. My stomach was growling most of the time but fortunately she was blur enough not to notice. We walked from one shop to another, sometimes even revisiting the same shop three times. She kept dragging me around literally as though I’m her talking pet dog but I was fine with all of that. It was one of the happiest moments I have experienced, to feel loved and needed. Not that I haven’t been loved or needed, it’s just this bond is special. Gastric juices in my stomach that churned the walls away warmth my chest. Masochistic some may say, but it felt great.
In that one day, we travelled from one mall to another, with each one bigger than the previous one. Wait; don’t even call it a mall or complex or emporium. Most of it were “emperor-riums” and we traverse 4 in all. My legs were souring, I don’t know about hers but looking at her made me want to walk even more. Spending time with her was exquisite in an ironic way. I hadn’t had anything since morning, we’ve walked for more than 8 hours not to mention I was carrying all the things she bought, plus she was dragging me! But she just smiled at me and everything that made me worried disintegrate into God knows where.
It was 7.40 PM and it was time for dinner. I wanted to bring her to the best restaurant there was in the mall we were at but she thought otherwise. She led me into a cab where we stopped at a quaint chee cheong fun stall close to our place. As you all know, she is my backdoor neighbour. We stayed very close to each other but we never noticed each other’s existence until we met in college with you guys. Anyway, after dinner we walked home.
At her gate, I wished her goodnight and told her that it was a great day. She stood quiet for a while, dug into her bag and took out her set of keys to the house. I noticed that she was looking down, biting her lips and shifting her shoulders back and forth as though reluctant to go back into her house. I looked at her and she tilted her head sidewards. Leaned to me and peck me on the cheek. She swept my feet away.
My whole body was trembling. My head was spinning. Speechlessly, tipsily awed. The only thing I could do is to raise my eyebrow in shock. She smiled and giggled a little bit. Tilted her head to the other side and kissed my other cheek. There I was standing there in a state of paralysis, mesmerised, entrapped. I didn’t know what to do but…
“Good night. I, I… I, I…”
She placed her fingers on my lips, “Shhh…” closed her eyes and then covered mine with her other hand.
“Sweet dreams of me tonight” she said as she unveiled my eyes. I felt her fingers slide off my lips, then she placed it on hers and rubbed it gently. Following that, she unlocked the gate to her house, walked across the porch and enters the main door.
As soon as I got back to my bedroom, all the aches began sneaking into my leg muscles and fatigue just overwhelmed the whole physique. Then a thought crashed into my thick skull, I wondered how much did I spent today? Opened my wallet and found the exact same amount of money I had this morning! What in the world? I didn’t spend anything on her? Did she pay for everything? No… no, NO!!!
Since we were just backdoor neighbours, our room windows are directly facing each other, so I thought of making one of those two-tin wired phones. You know those primitive paper cup phones with strings attached to its ends we used to make in school? Yea, this time, a more high quality one – metal tins and nylon strings man! Woo hoo!!! Ok, let’s get back to the point.
Once the simple phone was completed, I opened my window and threw a pen at her window. Once, twice, three times. No answer. Fourth time. As the fourth time a pen launched off my grip, she opened her window and luck of all luck, it landed on her forehead.
“Shit! Shit! She’s gonna be so mad at me. Quickly apologise dang it! Be a man and do the right thing!” my mind was just rushing into planning amendments for the mistake I did.
Mustered courage within my guts and shouted, “SORRY, I DIDN”T MEAN TO DO THAT”
“Quiet idiot!” she spoke softly, “you are going to wake the others”
“Don’t be stupid, it’s only…” I took a look at my watch. “Shoot! It’s already 10.30 PM!”
“Exactly. Now be a good boy and go to sleep. Okay? I’ll miss you.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Catch this.” I threw her the other end of the tin phone.
“You know, I can’t understand why you don’t use the mobile instead. This is so primitive and embarrassing.”
“Hey lady, you paid for all the meals, transport and your own shopping. This time and tomorrow, I’ll lead. You’ll be just a good girl okay? Why did you do that anyway?”
“Do what?”
“You know, paying for all our expenses today. Can’t you let me be a gentleman and let me treat you as you rightfully deserve as a lady?”
“Well I. I,…” it was late at night but her fluorescent room light allowed me to notice her cheeks blush. She whispered most of the time while saying this but I quite made up what she said, and from her flushed face, I was convinced I was right. “I just wanted to spend time with you. Money doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care if my whole allowance of the month is spent one day shopping with you. All I wanted for the both of us, was to really take time out together. You know, as a couple, after all, we’ve only got 3 days and the first day is almost over.”
Tingles and jingles crawled onto my spines. My chest felt the chills but a warm sensation visits the lobes of the ears. “I’m so happy to hear that. Tomorrow, I’ll lead.” After that, we bid each other good night and almost immediately, she turned off her room lights.
No time to waste. I’ve already planned on what to do the next day. Kite with trailing bubbles in the blue sky. Woo! Turned on the hi-fi to highest volume that the whole neighbourhood blasted with Pachebol’s “Canon in D”.
“IDIOT, KEEP IT DOWN!!!” the tin-phone rung, rattled and echoed with her voice as I dove towards the hi-fi to turn the volume dial down. “Ganasnya”, I thought to myself. She appeared to be a soft person outside, who ever thought she would release a tigress within her? She’s like a durian fruit! Without the shell that is.
_____________________________________________________
On the last day, I walked her around the park near the mall we last shopped at. It was a beautiful evening. She wanted to see the sunset before we part to our usual lives as we were before – friends. It was 5.45 PM and the sun was still beating down on the damp green beneath our feet as we walked towards the garden bench below the tree. The tree where we buried the contract within it’s hollow.
The breeze blew tenderly towards us. Strands of her hair flutter from its arrangement, placing itself across her forehead, on her left cheek and on her lips. There I stared at her as she brushed her hair to the side, back to its placement.
She chuckled and smiled at me asking, “What are you looking at? Did I miss a strand of hair?”
“No, it’s just”… period… she knew what I was thinking at a glance of my face.
We reached the garden bench. It was our last day together as contract couple. A peculiar day actually, usually we would sit so close together that it is almost airtight. I remember that at the end of the first day, I was almost limping after our first date; there were even signs of red marks all across the right side of my body. Today was different, very different.
She sat on the left side of the bench and I sat on the other. She looked at her watch and I looked at mine. 5.49 PM. Sun still high in the blue skies and birds hurried their last hunt for the day. Should I tell her? Should I… no. Maybe I should.
“Argh!!!”
“What?” she called out “what’s the matter?”
It started to drizzle lightly. She was worried to get her clothes wet so she ran for the cement hut not far away with the shopping bags in both her hands. For me, I walked as slowly as I can towards the shelter. I just, I just…
“Idiot! What are you doing there?” she screamed at a distance.
The drizzle began to pour heavier as rain.
*Thump. I sat on the damp ground. *Sniff. *Sniff. *Cough. *Choke. Are these tears? Restless dilemmatic thoughts rustled into every part of my head. Roaring emotions drummed the floodgates of my tear glands with every heartbeat. A choke to every gasp of air.
Still she calls out to me.
Ok, take it easy. *Phew. Breathe. Breathe. *Phew. This is the last moment; let’s make it something to remember. Let’s make it special. Calm down. Let’s do it.
I wiped my tears and tried to put on the best smile I can give. Jogged to her and there she dabbed pieces of tissue paper onto my face.
“Were you crying?”
“No, no. Definitely not! Hahaha, what made you think so?”
“The fact that your eyes are red and so is your nose.”
“Really? Must be the rain. Getting more acidic nowadays”
She giggled, “Lame excuses. Just like you”
That was a relief. Now let’s get the show on the road! I was waiting for the rain to clear and the crimson gold sun to set beneath the after rain rainbow before I give it to her. But I cannot contain myself. My hands were getting itchy and feet were tapping faster. My goodness, what must she be thinking of me now?
“Are you ok? You seem to have acted weird since we came to this park.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt the pressure of geysers wanting to burst into hot jets of spouts but is clogged up by the biggest and heaviest boulder unfathomable to mankind. I dug into my pants pocket and drew a small blood red velvet pouch. Showed it to her and asked her to open it.
“I made this specially for you. Even the pendant and the pouch. All, all, all except for the lace that is.”
She carefully untied the pouch’s strings, reached in it and grasped a black lace. Slowly, she lifted the black lace even more and revealed a twisted wire pendant in the shape of a kite, which was attached to it as like a necklace. Her dark black hair veiled her face as she bowed her head.
“Do, do you want me to fix that for you?”
*SLAP. Her right palm stamped its mark on my left cheek.
“What did I do?”
*SLAP. Mark of red palm crossed my right cheek
“I know that I am not that good at this kind of crafts but I did it with a sincere heart and I thought that we could en…”
*SLAP. This time, her nails scratched bits of skin from my right cheek.
“WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL TO ME?” she looked straight into my eyes with tears crowding her lashes and already, her cheeks swelled with the sorrow of her downpour. She chucked the gift into the pouch and threw it to the ground as hard as she could and trampled upon it. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, she picked it up and threw it across the muddy side of the field. With that, she dashed off into the subsiding rain.
Obviously that wasn’t a good move but I hadn’t got a clue what was on her mind. Now, I just can’t think, I was at shock. It was almost equivalent to trauma. If I were to be high in cholesterol, I would have got a heart attack. My heart, I cannot hear my heart beat. What is this? I cannot feel even the pulses on my neck or my wrist. Am I dead? No, unfortunately I’m still alive and now, am just four steps away from the red velvet pouch on the muddy side of the park.
The sun was setting in crimson gold. The sky was painted with the luminous colours off from the pallet of the Creator. And a rainbow stretched out to the horizons. Chilly breeze caresses the rear of my ear, carrying with it the cry she left behind. Vapour from the earth discovered its way to my lungs as I learn the misery of a so-called “rational mutual agreement”.
It’s been 23 days now and I haven’t heard anything from her. Tried calling many times. 46 miss calls and 63 text messages average per day. Leaving behind voice messages until the prepaid credit depleted within 3 days. Went to her house a couple of times but her parents who found out about the contract the day she ran home drenched and crying, furiously refused my visits.
Every night before I sleep, I would cover my head and start to cry – a wailing cry. The salty tears that I taste stings the scarred cheek that she left behind; even that didn’t hurt me. In fact, I scratched the scar every few hours just to make sure it will always be there. So that it will remind me of her.
Since I haven’t noticed her in college, I asked you all but all you did was just ignore me; you even spat at me. You all did everything to insult and degrade me. Now I really understand what is meant by “hell hath no fury than the scorn of a woman”. Not to be arrogant or anything but I felt like Jesus when he was about to be crucified – being punished for a fault that He didn’t commit. Or maybe that’s what I thought. Maybe there was a mistake but I didn’t realize it.
So there, there’s my story to tell. I still do not know what made her cry that day. Now I had second thoughts about the agreement we had. It was suppose to be professional, we promised that. It was suppose to be just for the experience but it’s all too late now. Though it may be clear to others but neither of us had ever foreseen such an ending nor thought that we would get so involved. Whatever the outcome, I thank God for this experience. I knew He told me not to do it or I’ll regret. He told me:
I will grant you the things
I desire.
For when you desire,
Desire the things I would.
If you desire desire,
Desire will turn on you.
But if you desire the things I
Desire, I will make
Desire
Turn to you.
And this is a Promise I will
Make if you desire My will.
I guess I learnt the hardest way. To yearn for relationships that are not meant to be. I guess it’s not the will of God for me to hook my heart to her whom not believe Him as I do.
Of course I love her. If I don’t, why would I agree to commit to such an absurd contract? Maybe I can still chase her. Maybe I can still… still… still…
No. It can never happen. At least, not again for it’ll be a long time before these wings takes its flight to the lovebird skies again.
